Kate Spade

Glad you are not a public figure? Me too. When I die, I don't believe my secrets will be blasted around the world by spiteful relatives or those looking for monetary gain. But let us take what we can from her death, for today we live on.

Beloved Kate Spade. Sisters can be cruel. (I have several). Her sister chose to speak to the press, asserting that Kate suffered with both untreated bipolar disorder and an alcohol abuse problem. No assertion that Kate had been diagnosed as bipolar (a difficult and controversial diagnosis, by the way). And who doesn't have an alcohol abuse problem? At least half of my friends do, if using alcohol to self-medicate anxiety and a hard day at work counts. Thanks for the sistah love... not.

Kate's husband now says she battled anxiety and depression but did not have a drug or alcohol abuse problem.  It is good that he spoke out and did not remain silent, but in the end, what difference does it make?

The lesson from Kate's death is that mental illness and personal despair do not play favorites among us: we are all vulnerable, each and every one of us.

The lesson from Kate's death is this: think hard about your self-care routines, folks. How do you love yourself? How do you care for yourself when your mind is over-whelmed by anxiety, sadness, worry and "monkey-mind?" How do you pull yourself back to center?

What is at your center? Who are you? At my center is a flame of life, ignited by the creator of the universe. At my center is a faith in the power of love.

When I think nothing will work to bring me back to peace, I breathe deeply anyway. When all I can think about is fear and anxiety, I breathe deeply and say words of comfort to myself (Sometimes: "Be still and know that I am God." Sometimes, simply: "Love. (Breathe) Peace."

And I wait. And I try again. Sometimes it takes a week or more, but my peace comes back to me.

Today I pray that I never lose the fortitude to keep on my quest for peace. Godspeed, Kate. We feel you.



PS If you have suicidal thoughts, please take action to help yourself. Here is a link to a 24/7 website of resources:



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