Coping: Wine O'Clock, Parties and Family
I am very grateful to all the bloggers and writers who wrote articles and blogs about how to get through the party season. Those articles really helped me.
I realized that three-quarters of the reason why I reached for a glass of wine every night when I got home from work was because I was hungry and tired. So when I quit drinking, I substituted white grape juice or other sugary drinks for the wine. I also allowed myself to have cheese and crackers. Just no wine. Bingo: I had my answer.
I no longer am feeding the same compulsion every night (it is day 90!), but I do think about my "state" and I do take care of myself with food and non-alcoholic drinks more mindfully than before.
So for parties: the same mind set applies. For my family holiday parties, I just made sure I had sugary drinks on hand, that matched calorie for calorie the wine (sparkling cider, etc.). Actually, at one dinner, I had a wine glass of unsweetened pomegranate juice (or cherry juice, I forget) -- it looked just like the wine and tasted better to me!
I just told people that at my age, I couldn't hold my alcohol any more and that it gave me hot flashes and headaches. No one really paid attention anyway. One of the nice things about being a middle aged woman: we are sort of invisible! :-)
Yes, I have lost my taste for alcohol. Some of my family members drink (a little) and being around the stuff has no appeal to me: it smells kind of stale and not nearly as nice as the fresh fruit juice that I now enjoy!
The last holiday party I attended occurred just ten days ago. Work buddies; been going for ten years and always knocked a few back with my buddies at this event. Wouldn't you know: my assignment (along with several other people) was to bring booze. I brought four bottles of assorted wine and opened a few, and poured a few glasses for my friends. It felt really strange.
I also brought a bottle of sparkling cider and two bottles of sparkling seltzer. I find I get "full" on one glass of the cider, so I really like to have the seltzer too as a back up. My drinks were the only non-alcoholic drinks being offered.
Wouldn't you know, lo and behold, several people expressed THRILL when they saw the cider: it was a huge hit. Lots of folks were happy to have the option to skip the alcohol.
I found one of my close buddies in the kitchen, knocking down beers and talking sports. I was so happy and had so much fun shooting the breeze with him and his buddies.
My not drinking was a complete non-event. Except that I could specifically remember the party one year ago, and how I was in a hurry to get to the second glass of wine so I could get my party buzz on. I don't desire that buzz any more, it seems. If I think about it, I use my brain to think also about the downsides, which are huge....
I should add that the party started at 3 PM on a Sunday!
Several women in their mid-60's (a little older than me) were talking. I noticed it seemed that they stuck to one glass of wine for the party. One was saying: I can only drink every other night now, not every night like I used to. The other described having her friends over the other night. The seven of them only drank four bottles of wine. (!) She said that was nothing like the way she used to drink. The other friend said, wow, so you didn't have to hide the bottles in the recycling.
Guess what? This is really how people talk. I don't think these ladies really drink any more than half the people I know, and we certainly don't think of ourselves as alcoholics.
But it all looks so different from the other side.....and I like it here.
Still, I must confess: it felt strange. I came home and my SO was out of town so I had no one to process it with...and I had trouble sleeping.
But I didn't drink and I had another day under my belt!
I realized that three-quarters of the reason why I reached for a glass of wine every night when I got home from work was because I was hungry and tired. So when I quit drinking, I substituted white grape juice or other sugary drinks for the wine. I also allowed myself to have cheese and crackers. Just no wine. Bingo: I had my answer.
I no longer am feeding the same compulsion every night (it is day 90!), but I do think about my "state" and I do take care of myself with food and non-alcoholic drinks more mindfully than before.
So for parties: the same mind set applies. For my family holiday parties, I just made sure I had sugary drinks on hand, that matched calorie for calorie the wine (sparkling cider, etc.). Actually, at one dinner, I had a wine glass of unsweetened pomegranate juice (or cherry juice, I forget) -- it looked just like the wine and tasted better to me!
I just told people that at my age, I couldn't hold my alcohol any more and that it gave me hot flashes and headaches. No one really paid attention anyway. One of the nice things about being a middle aged woman: we are sort of invisible! :-)
Yes, I have lost my taste for alcohol. Some of my family members drink (a little) and being around the stuff has no appeal to me: it smells kind of stale and not nearly as nice as the fresh fruit juice that I now enjoy!
The last holiday party I attended occurred just ten days ago. Work buddies; been going for ten years and always knocked a few back with my buddies at this event. Wouldn't you know: my assignment (along with several other people) was to bring booze. I brought four bottles of assorted wine and opened a few, and poured a few glasses for my friends. It felt really strange.
I also brought a bottle of sparkling cider and two bottles of sparkling seltzer. I find I get "full" on one glass of the cider, so I really like to have the seltzer too as a back up. My drinks were the only non-alcoholic drinks being offered.
Wouldn't you know, lo and behold, several people expressed THRILL when they saw the cider: it was a huge hit. Lots of folks were happy to have the option to skip the alcohol.
I found one of my close buddies in the kitchen, knocking down beers and talking sports. I was so happy and had so much fun shooting the breeze with him and his buddies.
My not drinking was a complete non-event. Except that I could specifically remember the party one year ago, and how I was in a hurry to get to the second glass of wine so I could get my party buzz on. I don't desire that buzz any more, it seems. If I think about it, I use my brain to think also about the downsides, which are huge....
I should add that the party started at 3 PM on a Sunday!
Several women in their mid-60's (a little older than me) were talking. I noticed it seemed that they stuck to one glass of wine for the party. One was saying: I can only drink every other night now, not every night like I used to. The other described having her friends over the other night. The seven of them only drank four bottles of wine. (!) She said that was nothing like the way she used to drink. The other friend said, wow, so you didn't have to hide the bottles in the recycling.
Guess what? This is really how people talk. I don't think these ladies really drink any more than half the people I know, and we certainly don't think of ourselves as alcoholics.
But it all looks so different from the other side.....and I like it here.
Still, I must confess: it felt strange. I came home and my SO was out of town so I had no one to process it with...and I had trouble sleeping.
But I didn't drink and I had another day under my belt!
I am day 13 alcohol free and I haven't wanted to drink at social occasions as yet but I did automatically pour myself a glass of bubbles when my parents were here for a visit last week. Thanks for sharing your experience with me and good for you for having another day under your belt :)
ReplyDelete