Are you a giver?
So many of us are "givers" -- we are moms, we are generous, we go out on a limb for others, we are givers...For me, sometimes when I feel as if I have completely depleted myself, I think: I deserve a drink!
Today I was at an event all afternoon and I found myself working hard to help a younger person in my field to find his way, make the connections that he needs to succeed. Why? Because this is what I do. I love my work: I feel fully alive when I can forget about myself and just throw myself into helping others.
I recently read that extroverts feel energized by interacting with others, while introverts feel drained. By that measure, I am an introvert. It drains me. But I certainly appear as a dynamic, engaged professional.
At the end of this event today, I was drained. Empty. Nothing left to give.
In the past, I would have gotten home at "wine o"clock" and had a glass of wine on an empty stomach.
Just think about that for a minute. I am empty: tired, hungry, depleted. The last thing I need is alcohol! It will drain me even further. It is a poison. It is a depressant. Yet for so many years, it seemed like the natural next step. Can you relate?
So I am now beginning my fourth month of sobriety and I am working hard to change the way my brain works: I am curious about how my brain works. I am observing and I am commenting.
Today I comment that the urge to drink wine on an empty stomach after a depleting day is one that is illogical and counter-productive. It will make me tired and ultimately even more cranky. So God help the family members who might need me after my second nightly drink. I'll snap.
I don't want to live alone and drink in peace at the end of a long day. Forget it. So I have figured out another approach.
Today, I felt that feeling -- that a drink would be in order -- as my SO and I drove home from the event. I told him pretty much everything that I just wrote out, above. He said how proud he was of me and how much he admired me for all my thinking and careful planning. High five. I told him I was going to have some grape juice and cheese as soon as I got home. While I prepare dinner? - he asked. Yes, I said.
Grape juice and cheese and crackers. That's how I replenish myself when I am empty from all my giving to others. That desire for wine passes in the meantime. How about you?
Today I was at an event all afternoon and I found myself working hard to help a younger person in my field to find his way, make the connections that he needs to succeed. Why? Because this is what I do. I love my work: I feel fully alive when I can forget about myself and just throw myself into helping others.
I recently read that extroverts feel energized by interacting with others, while introverts feel drained. By that measure, I am an introvert. It drains me. But I certainly appear as a dynamic, engaged professional.
At the end of this event today, I was drained. Empty. Nothing left to give.
In the past, I would have gotten home at "wine o"clock" and had a glass of wine on an empty stomach.
Just think about that for a minute. I am empty: tired, hungry, depleted. The last thing I need is alcohol! It will drain me even further. It is a poison. It is a depressant. Yet for so many years, it seemed like the natural next step. Can you relate?
So I am now beginning my fourth month of sobriety and I am working hard to change the way my brain works: I am curious about how my brain works. I am observing and I am commenting.
Today I comment that the urge to drink wine on an empty stomach after a depleting day is one that is illogical and counter-productive. It will make me tired and ultimately even more cranky. So God help the family members who might need me after my second nightly drink. I'll snap.
I don't want to live alone and drink in peace at the end of a long day. Forget it. So I have figured out another approach.
Today, I felt that feeling -- that a drink would be in order -- as my SO and I drove home from the event. I told him pretty much everything that I just wrote out, above. He said how proud he was of me and how much he admired me for all my thinking and careful planning. High five. I told him I was going to have some grape juice and cheese as soon as I got home. While I prepare dinner? - he asked. Yes, I said.
Grape juice and cheese and crackers. That's how I replenish myself when I am empty from all my giving to others. That desire for wine passes in the meantime. How about you?
Yes. Days where I give a lot really suck me done.
ReplyDeleteI am also an extroverted introvert. It’s a hard duality.
Eating regularly, sleep and times outs (hot bubble baths) help a lot. I am a mom,I have a job as an engineer and I teach yoga. Used to volunteer more. But I decided a few years ago that I just can’t. I only have so much energy.
I like the saying you can’t pour from an empty cup. Try to keep your cup full.
Anne
Congratulations on your 4 months!
ReplyDeleteWe do need to find better ways of taking care of ourselves, without drinking. Sometimes I just sit and put my feet up for a bit, and close my eyes. Rest.
xo
Wendy